what does the future hold
if one makes a choice
at a fork in the road
will left be better
will right be right
no best of both worlds
no turning around
and as dusk approaches
procrastination is not an option
so with eyes half open
a choice is made
the heart hopes for light
as prayers are said
but what lies ahead cannot be known
for it would be behind us
to find good or evil
one has to walk it through
haha..
life is random..
it's surprising how random life is..i still remember how distraught i was when i got my results..when both my jc n poly options were threatened..but eventually i assessed the situation and came to the conclusion that the worse case senario isnt that bad aft all..so preped myself up for disappointment..however on monday,things took a VERY sudden and unexpected turn..got a call from acjc saying to go back the next day to get my release memo..i was "Har? Can you repeat what u said?" a couple of times b4 the msg went thru my brain..haha though it was some guy from time magazine asking about my magazine subscription..and even after then reality didnt hit me for quite some time..haha these stuff have impeccable timing (cuz i got my mass com confirmation few hrs aft that)..if i had gotten the notification for acjc a day later..i would have already accepted mass com..so was in a sticky situation n cldnt slp (haha im scared of making choices)..hehe called mrs anand for advice..didnt expect her 2 pick up the phone though (it was arnd 1am)..thx mrs anand!u rawk ^-^
yup so life is indeed random sometimes...
haha on to lighter stuff..
SIMPLE PLAN ROCKS!hehe their concert ytd was
da bomb manz..went with fang n the whole thing was real cool!love their songs esp Perfect cuz it was nice the way they did the acoustic thingy for tehe 1st verse and let the audience sing along..haha n although the waiting and the squeezing and the pushing weren't exactly on my list of fun things but i guess it's all part of the experience ^-^..hehe they sang all the songs i wanted to hear (except I Don't Want To Think About You but its no biggie la haha) and some ppl there were SUPER enthu!the guy standing nxt to the both of us was shaking violently manz..hehe..it was rather hilarious la but i guess it's his way of taking in the electric atmosphere..haha some1 even took a pic of him..will definitely wanna watch them again if the opportunity arises..hehe but aft the concert we were abit deaf..kept going "Huh?.. What did u say?.. Say again?.. etc"..haha but it was fun..high like nobdy's business aft that even though dead tired...
yup so let me reaffirm my statement..Simple Plan Rocks ^-^
Entry @ 10:06 PM;
Thursday, March 31, 2005
the sun
sets in the horizon
darkness engulfs
warmth dissappears
cold winds
take over
chills sent down
unpleasant discomfort
black skies
bring apprehension
fear seeps in
mental barrier
yet the sun rises again the next day
started my day in central part of s'pore tdy..must admit i'm nt quite used 2 it..i look back n see the ppl i've left behind in the west and all i'm clinging on to is a thin thread..and at any moment reality will snap it..yes i believe in the half full thingy that's y i'm allowing reality to gimme a slow and gentle tap on my cheek rather than a fast and hard one..n i shd kp n open mind..things may pick up ^-^..or i may get my mass com thingy (something that i really want to do)..but whatever it is i'm sure life has it worked out for me so i'll juz face it with all i've got...
oh btw, thx a whole lot grace for trying to help me settle in..really appreciate it loads ^-^
Entry @ 11:57 PM;
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
smile
each day
smile
live life
smile
always
smile
^-^
haha kz enjoyed myself this week though it had been taken up by drama..
fang's bday was FUN!enjoyed stoning on the beach..it was SOOO relaxing..ahhhh..the water was so clear..n the fishies swam up to our palms!then we went to town for ice-cream n took neos..haha..nth special but nonetheless still tons of fun!then went to party world for a short karaoke session (so sorry fang!felt bad abt psing u but hope u didnt miss me too much hehe ^-^)..
oh n i watched hitch..nice show..haha the tactics hitch used were real smooth..but i wonder if they would work in real life?
haha drama had been fun too!other than the cage cleaning (which was kinda like moving house except that there was more dust and boxes),drama has been tiring but fun ^-^..hehe but then again what wld u expect with a bunch of slighly insane folks(me included of course)hehe gained new experiences too..like taping wood with cellotape to give it a laminated effect..haha kudos to jayne manz...sorry trev..hehe i promise i'll never ever put u thru that again..dinner shouldnt be a pleasant occasion..feel free to take it out on me anyway u want ^-^..erm at least it was a learning experience?(for me i guess..haha...)
Entry @ 11:55 AM;
Friday, March 18, 2005
haha..i'm back..anyway went to barker's funfair yesterday..hehe it was ok la..nth special but basically went to support abi and trev..saw quite a no. of acjc people there...
which reminds me..watched lemony snicket's a series of unfortunate events the day before yesterday..haha saw alot of amk and acjc people in town too..thought it was quite good..except for the ending which was a little anti-climatic..but overall good..which reminds me that i owe trev alot of $..haha..need to pay it off asap...
YAY..hehe..looking forward to giving him his makeover...
Oh yes..fang's birthday's coming up soon..hehe..need to get her prezzie later...
haha i realised this entry's kinda short..actually i do have alot to talk about but im lazy now la..so mebbe till later days..hehe...
Entry @ 11:43 AM;
Sunday, March 13, 2005
bubblewrap
layers and layers
the light is near
but there's always
another layer
ladders
floor after floor
the top is ahead
but then there's
another floor
why
is there always
something more
kz actually i have alot to talk abt but i shall blog in ltr cuz my bro desperately nds 2 use the comp...
Entry @ 9:19 PM;
Saturday, March 12, 2005
in the depths of the human soul
finding greed, anger and ignorance
the breeding of evil's spawn
what talk about benevolence
utility of naught
the moon and stars glimmer
for all other souls
yet not leaving a single shimmer
the hand and face
no more comforting or gentle
all strike fear or evoke pity
placement of a fraude on a mantle
shreds of life torn apart
the world closes in on her prey
emulated by the view in the water
hands belonging to predator's sway
sometimes i think why do i even bother..sometimes i wonder whether i'm really somewhere or whether everything is just in my head and that i just think i'm somewhere when i'm not actually there,am i crazy or is it just that i think im crazy(ehh..that didn't really make sense but what the heck)..hehe i really need to stop using that many Is (see there i go again)..starting to feel that i'm becoming self-absorbed..talked about Mother Teresa the other day..come to the realisation that life's been really good to me (cuz i mentioned the people who were sick and left to die on the streets)..really appreciate it..and i've come to the revelation that i've been going about everything the wrong way..and sterotyping/judging bk by its cover/ass-u-m(e)upstions(go fig) are not good..and that playing safe all the time ain't the best solution..gotta take risks sometimes and even if the results are not exactly what you expected..at least you know you tried ^-^..haha guess it's mum's advice that made jumpy (hehe it's great and all but somehow it doesn't really work for me..sorry mum!haha you can try it on bro next time)..dealing with stuff my way (however long,stupid and self-effacing the way may be) still feels the best..oh and yes..i believe MOST of us are given a fair deal in life (of course there are those who seem perpetually down but that's another thing) and most of us are given pretty good deals too (depends on which angle you look at things from)..i'll admit i'm a pretty average person..but it's a good thing i've got optimism (hehe..even though sometimes it takes awhile for it to kick in)..and life does get me down..but i guess i try to bounce back up again..ok this entry IS really self-absorbed..haha but i suppose it's ok to indulge in yourself once in a while...
Entry @ 6:07 PM;
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
why question
what that has no answer
where will it lead
who can it benefit
when is the end
how is it people see
haha..yay..these couple of days have been pretty fun ^-^ hehe..i shall roughly summarise what i did..
4got to write abt founders day in my prev entry..wa it was majorly boring..esp the tharman speech (no offence sir)..haha but i guess the other stuff were rather amusing so it wasnt THAT bad..had dinner with joyce,abi,trev..haha..didnt knw kallang had a drivethru mac..hehe..so interesting...
went to this sorta cafe thingy at clarke quay with abt 2/3 of 1AA2 for dinner on wed..haha it was SUPER fun..we gotta eat (though i wouldnt say the food was superbly impressive..hehe..) and play games, namely taboo and cluedo(josh won), at the same time! enjoyed myself loads..haha shall bring fang,pei,grace,ex-amksians etc there someday..cool place..hehe oh n i bought (n so did most of the people that went) a mickey mao(note it's MAO not in anyway mouse nor cat) badge..v cute...
nth much happened on thurs (haha it was geog day)..but trev looked really depressed..felt bad abt not taking bus w/ him..haha but the stupid boy (term of endearment) was so nice that when i jokingly asked him to take mrt he actually did..i guess he was abit down..hoped i managed to cheer him up a lil..
haha and juz nw we had out Arts Nite..this year's theme was Retro..hehe needless to say we had tons of fun dressing up and stuff..haha super enthu ppl..hehe my voice is now hoarse from cheering for them when they were participating for the various games..oh n did i mention 1AA2 rawks!!hehe we won the best dressed class award n that means another class dinner (haha cuz we got $100 marche voucher)!haiz..so gonna miss them when we go our seperate ways...
Entry @ 12:17 AM;
Saturday, March 05, 2005
the bigger picture
do you see it?
it's there
somewhere
you don't?
look closer
squint
can't you find it?
try harder
search
no?
neither can i
haha it's a good thing i'm writing this 1 day after i got the results..or else i'd be writing something angsty and self-derogatory..hehe..what a difference a day makes..feel so much better now..haha different reactions talking to different people..but oh well..hehe that's life..i won't say that i'm happy with my results cuz i really am not..i know people have been telling me i'm already considered ok..but different people have different expectations..but in a way i consider myself slightly more fortunate than a couple of my pals..to be in a top school and score what i would consider acceptable is unacceptable and that kind of anguish is probably more than what i can imagine..
oh well..im sure life probably has something in store for me..whatever it is i'll (try) to embrace it with open arms..for now i'm just gonna live life on hyperdrive and be happy (haha at least till reality drags me down somewhere)..after all life is just to short to mope for a long period of time..
sometimes i wonder whether i would be less affected by my results if my circumstances were different..i dunno..i guess i'll never know..but regardless of whatever..it's my karma that got me here..so yup it's pretty much predestined (but i may be able to change it of course if become like liao fan and go on a major kindness movement thingy) but then again how do we know whether we have changed what already is or is it supposed to be like this?haha kz..shan't delve too deep into such stuff..what's is, IS..so back to that nike song
"Always look on the bright side of life..todo todo todo todo.." ^-^
Entry @ 10:35 PM;
Tuesday, March 01, 2005