the bigger picture
do you see it?
it's there
somewhere
you don't?
look closer
squint
can't you find it?
try harder
search
no?
neither can i

haha it's a good thing i'm writing this 1 day after i got the results..or else i'd be writing something angsty and self-derogatory..hehe..what a difference a day makes..feel so much better now..haha different reactions talking to different people..but oh well..hehe that's life..i won't say that i'm happy with my results cuz i really am not..i know people have been telling me i'm already considered ok..but different people have different expectations..but in a way i consider myself slightly more fortunate than a couple of my pals..to be in a top school and score what i would consider acceptable is unacceptable and that kind of anguish is probably more than what i can imagine..

oh well..im sure life probably has something in store for me..whatever it is i'll (try) to embrace it with open arms..for now i'm just gonna live life on hyperdrive and be happy (haha at least till reality drags me down somewhere)..after all life is just to short to mope for a long period of time..

sometimes i wonder whether i would be less affected by my results if my circumstances were different..i dunno..i guess i'll never know..but regardless of whatever..it's my karma that got me here..so yup it's pretty much predestined (but i may be able to change it of course if become like liao fan and go on a major kindness movement thingy) but then again how do we know whether we have changed what already is or is it supposed to be like this?haha kz..shan't delve too deep into such stuff..what's is, IS..so back to that nike song "Always look on the bright side of life..todo todo todo todo.." ^-^

Entry @ 10:35 PM; Tuesday, March 01, 2005

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