at 320 am i felt inspired to write.. so here it is.. hopefully it makes sense.. cause i know im insanely tired at the moment.. but the words just popped into my head.. SO here it is...
And as she climbs the last steps of the never ending ladder she takes in one last breath.She closes her eyes and grabs on to the bar tied to a pole on her right. "You don't have to do this" they say. But she knows she must. She knows she must let go, and look beyond the surface, to remember that everyone has his or her own issues to grapple with. And this is one she has to be rid of. "This fear must stop plauging me", she thinks as she closes her eyes, ready to move on. Her feet inch closer to the nothingness and as she holds onto the bar, she feels free, flying, without a care in the world. And she lands safely. And she feels good. And she walks out of there feeling cleansed, a new person, ready to see things in a new light. But as she walks further and further away from the tent, the colours start to change and the feeling becomes all too familiar. The cold, the pain, the loneliness. And she can't go back to the tent. Not yet. It's all too soon. And like a drug, she knows the exhiliration of the experience will pull her further and further away from the world. But she can't go on like this. The cold, the pain, the loneliness. There has to be a cure for such fear. Though she does not know what. And till then, she will run to the tent, once in awhile to play with the props. And she will have a safety net. So that she can fly and fall and fly and fall over and over again to convince herself that she does not fear anymore for those brief moments in time.
Entry @ 3:20 AM;
Friday, March 14, 2008
